Rules for A Happy Marriage Life
As we have discussed in the previous article that the marriages are made in Heaven. We often say that someone is made for you somewhere and when you come across that person, you yourself feel that that person is made for you. It is true. Marriage is not just coming together of two persons. To sustain a happy marriage life, it is essential that there is effort from both sides by their commitment, concern, love and understanding. In an arrange marriage, boy and girl are totally unknown to each other. Love between them arose just after marriage when both of them develop a sense of caring, commitment and concern through living together, spending more time together. A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. In love marriages, after many years of courtship, problem of mental compatibility do exists because when the love birds meet before marriage, they are at their best to impress each other and they develop the habit of seeing each other at their best. But after marriage gradually they slip into their natural self and at that time they have to accept each other as they are. In most of the cases the real self is not what they wanted to see and then begins the contradiction with the person whom they have loved with whom they have to spend their life. So it is important that when you love a person, love him or her the way he or she is and not the way you want him or her to be. Than only you can be happy. The happiness in life after marriage depends upon the husband and wife, the life partners, how they make their life happy. If they want to keep happy all the time; they have to follow certain rules. Some of the rules are as under:
1. Never both be angry at the same time
When the actual life begins, partners start facing problems and at times they start arguments. You have to keep this in your mind that when your partner is angry try to keep yourself cool. There is a saying in Hindi, “Ek ne kahi dooje ne maani, Nanak keh gaye dono gyani” means if one has said something and other has followed the same, both would be known as literates and there would be no quarrel.
2. Never bring up mistakes of the past
Stop criticizing each other quoting mistakes of the past. This will lead to an unending quarrel.
3. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled
When the partners start an argument, they should not go to bed without settling the same otherwise the same would prolong and would lead to other arguments.
4. Don’t forget to use words like ‘sorry’ ‘thank you’
If you have committed a mistake, you should not forget to say sorry. If your partner has done something for you, never forget to say ‘thanks’.
5. Learn to forgive mistakes of other
Should always forget the mistakes of your partner and forgive him or her.
6. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire
You should not shout at each other at the same time otherwise it would be difficult to close the argument and others will enjoy the show.
7. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate
Try to find happiness in losing with your partner and let him or her be happy winning the argument.
8. At lease once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse
You should understand that gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
9. Never meet without an affectionate welcome
An affectionate welcome to each other would let other know how much you care each other.
10. If you really love your partner, don’t hesitate, express your love
It is always good to hear that your partner loves you.
11. Neglect the whole world rather than each other
Try to give as much as time possible to each other, understand each other, share everything with each other.
12. If you must criticize, do it lovingly
If you really differ with your partner on something, try to point out to your partner in gentle words so that he or she should not feel bad.
13. If you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness
Mistakes are generally committed by the partners but try to admit your mistakes and don’t forget to ask for forgiveness. It is always great to forgive your partner to strengthen your relationship.
14. Remember it takes two to make a quarrel
Try to develop a habit of being good listener. If your partner is shouting, don’t participate with him or her.
15. Rejoice in every moment that God has given you together
If you are living a happy life together, don’t forget to say thanks to God.
16. Let love be your guidepost
Live is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
17. Share your life, your hopes and your dreams with your spouse
18. Commit to your marriage
It is as simple as making the decision to be totally committed to your spouse and to the relationship.
19. Give full respect to each other
It is very important to give respect to your partner, respect each other’s decisions, wishes, desires and dreams.
20. Change yourself but not your identity
Try to adjust with your partner, if necessary change yourself according to the need of the hour but don’t change your identify.
